I am afraid I have deceived myself

I am afraid I have deceived myself
with what I have lived upon for many
long years. Is it habit orders these lines?
I wrote them in an effort to reach God.

Oh I'm afraid these are springes for birds.
I've a tin ear, blunt words, and a foolish
respect for useful days spent uselessly,
When I reason with myself I get nowhere,

I feel only the pain of self-reproach.
So I pray for no thoughts, for blank silence,
to be consumed in this fire's embrace.

But grief breaks in, hot tears are running down
my face, body--so I will sing to God
who, deaf to impressive words, hears the heart.
An image of the Italian text from Visconti's 1840 edition
V CLXXXVIII:348. From B S1:179:174 (320) Key

Amaro Lagrimar
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Page Last Updated 6 January 2003